I think one of the hardest things to get through is slander. You know people are talking negative about you but you don’t know what’s being said.
I know with me it all started by me marrying a non-believer. He was consumed with jealousy and every time I stepped out of the house I was accused of something. It didn’t matter if I was working or going to the grocery store. He accused me of affairs at work. He accused me of everything under the sun. When the truth was he was the one cheating on me. I didn’t know when I was young and naive that those same accusations would haunt and follow me for the rest of my life. Even after his death his hateful legacy lives on. When I was younger I never tried to correct the slander. I thought to myself what kind of people are going to believe what he says? I went according to him from being frigid to having sex with 80 people on a bus while I was watching 2 toddlers. I don't even think that's possible, but that was the kind of slander that was thrown about me. Disgusting! And what's more disgusting this is the kind of stuff he told our children about me. He not only destroyed me! He destroyed them! What child is going to respect a parent when they hear this kind of stuff about another parent! It was damaging!
The real story was I was working at Sears at the time in commission sales. I needed a car for work and my father-in-law at the time found a car at a car auction. We did a red-eye with no sleep took a bus from OKC to Baton Rouge and left the kids with his parents for two weeks and drove straight back! Boy, was that story turned around!
I found out later in life it was my very own children that would go on believing him and spreading what they heard from him. It wasn’t enough to go through a horrific divorce. It wasn’t enough to go through the death of one child that I eventually led to salvation. It wasn't until she could see through everyone else that she started to believe in me. But mostly, she believed in Jesus Christ. She saw for herself there was no putting out those burning tongues of hatred. And she even knew that she had once been apart of the slander. She explained it to me that there was a growing hate for me. There was a jealousy that burned deep into her dad and my brother. The same kind of hate that Cain had against Abel. It now wasn’t just my ex it was them too!. You know gossip and slander is one of those things that you can’t get away from once it gets started. It's like trying to put out a flame when fuel is constantly added to the fire. It can't be done!
I don't think I will ever know all the lies and slander that was said about me! But then again, I really don't want to know! It's been shocking to see how many people believe what they're told. They don't have to have evidence it's if so and so said it, it must be true! Slander really can ruin lives. Divorced parents should work on controlling their tongues realizing the damage that they're doing to their own children!
It seems like it’s the most popular chocolate bar out there and now everyone wants a piece of you. When you live under those false accusations you eventually think that you must be what people say you are! You don’t deserve happiness! You don’t deserve to be loved because you’re this evil vile creature that they all say you are! They don’t believe you! They don’t believe anything you say because they’ve been programmed to believe in the lies.
They even tell you that your salvation isn’t real. That the Bible doesn't apply to you! That you’re so bad that God can’t even love you! Matter of fact, no one loves you! Not your parents, not your siblings, not your children and not your grandchildren because you’re unloveable.
You reach a point that you give up on having any kind of relationship with them because their sincereity changes as fast as a camelion can change colors. There's no ounce of loyalty! You know in your life-time that you made mistakes and you gave it all to God nailing it at the cross.
I like the part in the movie Mamma Mia where the daughter is trying to figure-out which three of the men are her dad and she invites them all three to the Greek Island. When she's standing at the altar she tells her mother. "I don't care which one of them is my dad. I don't care if you slept with a 100 men. I still love you, because you're my mother! To me that's the best line in the movie. It shows unconditional love and that she accepts the fact that her mother was human and made mistakes, but she still loves her.
And like her, I looked for love in the wrong places. It wasn’t until I surrendered to Jesus Christ that I truly felt loved. It was that love that healed my childhood trauma. It was his love that healed my adult trauma. It’s his love that shielded me against the firery tongues of accusations that all have one goal in common to destroy my very existence.
It seems like one lie turned into 10 and 10 turned into a 100. This is the death of a tongue. Because of one persons lies, I wasn’t able to share in a normal life of existence. I’m now sixty-one years old and the lies are still coming the slander stronger than thrashing waves. When the truth is all I ever wanted was to be was a wife and mother.
So for you out there that are with someone and you’re unequally yoked. I want you to hear my story and the pain I went through being married to an unbeliever that brought me down and brought our family down. It’s not worth it! I thought if he loved me he would change! Not true! I was the one that changed. When I wanted out, he tried to destroy me with slander!
He brought me to the lowest point of my life when he took off with our children when I asked for a separation. It was a year before I saw them again. In that year I wasn’t allowed to see or hear from them. I didn't know at the time what he was telling them about me, but none of it was good! Six-months after I got them back his father killed his mother than killed himself. I found out later he even blamed that on me! And he would make threatening calls all the time threatening my life! I felt like our lives were on the edge.
He wanted them to hate their mother so they would live with him. We went through a bitter divorce and I spent seven years in court fighting child custody battkes, that I won! He never had proof of anything against me. He never paid child support but he could keep me in court draining my pocketbook for seven years.
It was at this time that I thought about taking my life. It was at this time that I had nothing to live for. And it was at this time that I ran to man to help me and not to God! See, I became angry at God that he allowed this to happen to me. I looked for love and accepatance in all the wrong places. After I got my girls back they rejected me and everything I stood for. They would even tell me that they didn't have to listen to me. I would try to hug them and they would pull away from me. It was horrible rejection. We had a very close relationship before he took off with them. My older daughter told me before she died, that I was a good mother! She remembered the times we spent together! There was a lot of drama in our lives! I always tried to protect them against the pain they went through in their childhood. I know I made mistakes. It was hard! It was hard for all of us then!
But there was a time in my life after I got them back that I went out looking for more. There had to be more in life than constant rejection. And I felt like I needed a man to protect us from all the death threats!
Oh, how i wished that I would've ran to God! I was raised in a very traditional church. God seemed so far away! I never really understood a relationship with Jesus Christ was possible.
It wasn’t that I went out all the time. It was when I did the wrong people were attracted to me. They could sense my insecurities. They could sense my weaknesses.
But even as low as I fell. I always had certain boundaries and limitations. I will always admit that I was a sinner that needed a Savior!
The last man I was with before I met my husband. I met him at Happy Hour after work. I went to the Marriot with some other women from work. And there was this man there that was buying us all drinks. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He found out where I worked and sent roses to my house and work for a week until I would go out with him. He really stalked me. I stood him up several times refusing to meet him. And finally, I gave in, it turned out to be the worst decision of my lifetime. He beat me up and put me in intensive care because I couldn’t do the things he wanted me to do, because I had boundaries. And then, there came more slander. He ran with what my kids told him and added to it. He couldn't have me and he didn't want anyone else to have me.
More false lies about what I did that people believed him. He was a man that once had a relationship with God, but thought he had the same power as God! He was the devil in the flesh. I hope and pray that this message helps others. Don’t believe everything that you hear about someone. Jesus died on the cross to forgive us against our sins. When you slander someone you’re nailing Jesus back on that cross saying his death was in vain. Stop the Talk and Walk the Walk!
What the Bible says about slander.
“When one of them comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it around.”
Psalm 41:6 NIV
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21 NIV
If you know someone that's being bullied by slander share this message with them. They're not alone! God sees all and knows all! Many people don't seem to understand the impact that slander has on someone's life. They don't care! They will care when the judgment of God falls on them for the lives they ruined and the destinies they stopped!
It doesn't matter what people say or think about me! It only matters what God thinks about me!
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 2:1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice, and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.
1Peter 3:16 Keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
James 4:11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting judgment on it.
Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
If you have a story that you would like to share, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org
And we will share your story how someoneone's defamation of character hurt your life.