I didn’t know what happened to me or what he did to me. I just knew that I hurt. He tells people that I became sexually active at the age of seven-years-old. What he and his friends did to me was never consensual. He took it above curiosity. It was a violation of my space and most of all my body and spirit.
I know now if it hadn’t been for God protecting me during these attacks that I would’ve lost my mind. But it was the grace of God that got me through the trauma.
I know there are people that ask how can God allow bad things to happen to children? I asked the same thing for many years. I even became angry at God that he would allow things to happen to me. But, I realize now that it was God that saved me by grace. My brother’s actions were that of the devil and the sin nature of the world. God never promised us that we wouldn’t go through bad things. But he did promise that when we are going through bad things that he will never leave us or forsake us.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley. I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I wonder if it was the hand of God that changed me into a butterfly to escape the trauma.
It's estimated that 400,000 babies a year are born in homes of sexual abuse. And most of those abuses are from an older sibling or father. I was one of those babies born.
If you were one of those babies like I was. I want you to know that you’re not alone. You don’t have to carry that burden or brokenness alone. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and to set the captives free. I have just handed you the keys to freedom through Jesus Christ my Savior.
You can take this time now to talk to God as if he were standing right there next to you and ask him to come into your life and be your Lord and Savior. And ask him to forgive you of all your sins known and unknown.
Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
What a wonderful gift God sent to us when he sent Jesus Christ into the world to be an atonement for the sins of the world.
After you make this commitment to Christ, I would suggest that you take the next step and be baptized. I believe that baptism helps heal our mind and clean our conscience.
I personally prayed to God and asked him to build borders around my mind where the enemy could not enter. And as I prayed this prayer I saw crosses light up in the corners of my mind where the enemy the devil could not cross.
I also make it a point to be careful of what I see and hear. It applies to the simple rule garbage in garbage out. Whatever you allow into your mind is going to come out through your actions or speech. And the most important thing is to stay grounded in the word of God. Pick out the Bible verses as your weapons that you will use to defend your life.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Remember this verse and study it. It’s letting us know to win any battle that we face on earth, we must use the word of God to win the battle. You can’t fight and win the battles if you don’t know the word of God.
Ephesians 6:16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
You can help support our ministry by reading my book: Raw Grief Escaping Fire to Water
You can also get my original elephant on canvas to be the eyes and ears on your child's wall that reminds you to always keep your eyes and ears open to end sibling sexual abuse. The surfboard is a reminder that every child deserves and needs safe space to grow.