Romans 1:28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.
Matthew 18:10 "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
I think one of the saddest things for a young girl to go through is to reach the realization that there isn’t anyone to rescue her when her perpetrator shows no mercy. I became tougher putting up walls and defenses realizing if my own biological father wouldn’t rescue me. Who’s going to rescue me now? It made my heart harder towards God because I didn’t understand why he would allow bad things to happen to me. I even rationalized in my mind that every time something bad happened to me that I deserved it. I felt betrayed and hurt by my family that they didn’t come to my rescue. I started wondering if my own biological father wouldn’t do anything how do you know God will? If my own mother wouldn’t come to me when I cried out loud in the night. I was confused because my family went to church every time the doors were open. My dad was even a deacon in the church. But yet when it came to his daughter screaming in the night because of the teenage perpetrator in her room he was too much of a coward to come to my defense. I understand now why I made the bad choices in life that I did. I had no good role model. I had set myself up believing that my dad was some kind of hero in my head when the truth was, he was a coward. I had put him on such a high pedestal that I look back now and wonder what was it that built that pedestal? It wasn’t the time he spent with me. He was never home. He let me move in when my life was broken because of the bad choices I made. He provided a roof over my head, and fed me. He would help me out financially when I needed it. But as a physical protector, that wasn’t part of his role as a father. The only role he understood was being a provider and he was so busy at that he neglected the other parts of being a father.
I loved my dad. I had a very close relationship with him but he was a wounded man that married my mother when his wife wouldn’t come to America after world war 11. His heart was still in France with his first wife and child. He was so consumed of guilt from his first marriage that he couldn’t fully commit to being a father in his second marriage. He played the role but he wasn’t completely there. I realize that now.
It was God’s mercy that saved me. It was the omniscience of God that healed my mind and my broken spirit and body.
When there was no mercy in my life. God showed up!
Maybe you have a parent that hasn’t met your expectations or life has let you down. You’ve been trying to do life alone but it’s too hard. The doors close as soon as they open. The people that you thought were your friends aren’t there. You can’t depend on family because they’ve betrayed you. You don’t know who you can trust.
I’m here to tell you to call out the name of Jesus Christ and he will hear you. When everyone else has closed their ears to your call. Jesus will hear you!