Living with PTSD has also been a challenge for me after going through sibling sexual abuse. As a child I had to stay awake so many nights to prevent anything from happening to me. There were sometimes I went days or weeks without sleep. It was the only way I knew how to defend myself. I would lay awake listening for him to open my cracked door. I always felt like I was more vulnerable because my bedroom door wouldn’t close all the way. So I Iayed waiting for the next attack to come anticipating nervously what he was going to do to me next. I noticed like me that most victims are attacked in the dark or at night when they’re the most vulnerable. Because these predators are too much of a coward to come in during the daylight hours. They don’t want to be found out so they move secretly in the dark. I know there were sometimes that I would just pass out from complete exhaustion trying to stay awake. I could only keep up my defense so long before it would happen again. I dreaded nighttime. I dreaded the dark. I had every reason in the world to be scared of the dark and the monsters that moved at night.
Colossians 1:13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,
I didn’t even know I had PTSD until I went to my family doctor and she questioned me about my childhood and I told her everything. She sympathetically said I had PTSD. I told her I thought only people that had been in war get it, and she said no, anytime you go through trauma you can get it. And she said, by what you told me. You had a very traumatic childhood. She subscribed sleeping pills. I tried them for a while with antidepressants but I couldn’t take any prescription drugs. I started treating myself naturally using herbs and changing my diet. I used alternative medication such as magnesium or Vitamin B6 to help me relax and lavender oil on my pillow and on my feet to help me sleep. And taking Nascent Iodine And I try to eat only organic meat.
Read my book Raw Grief Escaping Fire to Water to help support our ministry.
I was just the age of this picture when the abuse started. It started out as physical abuse, then it escalated to mental abuse and sexual abuse.
You can also get my original elephant on canvas to be the eyes and ears on your child's wall that reminds you to always keep your eyes and ears open to end sibling sexual abuse. The surfboard is a reminder that every child deserves and needs safe space to grow.